Scarlett Johansson as Tippi Hedren in The Birds by Tim Walker
(via icebat)
Those black things are birds. Arkansas is the largest cash producer of bird fields in the country.
Fuck Birds
Fuck birds as pets. It is the worst goddamn idea in the history of ideas.
I HATE BIRDS AND AS SOON AS I WALKED PAST THESE CUNTS THEY STARTED FLYING OVERHEAD AND POOPING AND THEIR SQUAWKS SOUNDED LIKE THEY WERE LAUGHING AT ME.
Fuck these birds. Seriously, fuck them. They are the most annoying animal in Florida. I almost crashed my car today because a flock of these bastards were crossing the street and the jackass two cars ahead of me wasn’t paying attention. He looks up, slams on his brakes, the person ahead of me slams on their brakes, and then I had to slam on my brakes and swerve out of the road to avoid read-ending the fuck out someone. I guess you could blame the guy who wasn’t paying attention in the first place, but those fucking birds just irked me. They just stood in the road, staring at the chaos they just helped create. They didn’t even bother to acknowledge the fact that I was flipping them the bird and screaming “FUCKIN’ FEATHERED ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAGS!”
I WANT TO KISS YOU!
I WANT TO KISS YOU TOO!
HOW DO WE DO THAT?
I’M NOT SURE!
UGH! WHY ARE OUR FACES MADE OUT OF BANANAS?
BECAUSE WE WOULD LOOK RIDICULOUS WITH LIPS!
EXCELLENT POINT! YOU ARE VERY SMART!
THANK YOU! LET’S MASH BANANAS!
(via standandunfoldyourself)
I saw this bird a few days ago. It was following me down the street. I got in my car and drove for like ten years. When I got out, the bird was waiting for me. I told it to leave me alone. It told me I was alone. Just one of many reasons I’m not a big fan of birds.John Clowder. Cabinet of Curiosities.
(Source: darksilenceinsuburbia, via spaceshipignition)
